canon: we bare bears

[icebearforpresident]

[Walking around, offering ice cream samples.]

Comments

[icebearforpresident]

"...?"

[He somehow doesn't lose his grip on the tray during this impromtu hugging session.]

"Little girl sums up Ice Bear's personality perfectly. Ice Bear could get used to this affection."

[chocolatechipbadass]

You can talk too?!

[Ice Bear is so cool that a child is not taking ice cream samples over talking to him. Turning down sugar means he is the coolest.]

My name's Tina an' I want to be your best friend so baaaaaaaaad.

[icebearforpresident]

"Yes. Ice Bear can speak many languages."

[He's going to sit the tray down on a nearby table to give Tina his undivided attention.]

"...Okay. Ice Bear will be your friend." [He can't resist cute kids.] "What kind of friend things does Tina like to do"

[chocolatechipbadass]

That. Is so. Awesome!

[Tina's quick to hold out her arms. Up! She'd already be climbing up to sit on his shoulder if it was Brick, but she's trying to be polite in regards to her new friend.]

I'm a game master for Bunkers an' Badasses, I host the most exclusive tea parties on Pandora, and I blow lots of stuff up an' sometimes even get paid for it!

[icebearforpresident]

[He quickly scoops her up with his paws, allowing her to sit on his shoulders. He carries two brothers on his back daily, so a child like Tina is no trouble at all.]

"What kind of game is that? Ice Bear could make the snacks for Tina's tea parties." [His ears twitch a bit upon hearing about explosions.]"Ice Bear likes building robots and making them do things."

[chocolatechipbadass]

Yeah!

[How many people can say they've got a literal meat shield for a brother figure and now a frickin' polar bear as a best friend/mount/throne? Tina is obviously The Best. But she's more interested in learning about her new ursine best friend.]

It's a tabletop role playing game. I make up adventures for my friends to go on and be awesome and stuff. Can you make crumpets? They're my favorite.

[But oooooh, robots!]

Ice. My man. Listen. You gotta let me put a rocket launcher on your robot. You'd have the best damn security on the planet.

[icebearforpresident]

"Crumpets. Ice Bear can make them. What kind of character should Ice Bear be in your game?"

[He's just going to stand there and look cute.]

"Ice Bear has a bad experience when someone touched Ice Bear's roomba. Ice Bear will have to think about this proposition."

[chocolatechipbadass]

What's your favorite kind of crumpet? I feel like I gotta try 'em all because Tina ain't met a crumpet she hasn't crumpocalypsed if ya get my drift I think you doooo~~!

[She leans forward on her Bear-shoulder-seat so she can look Ice Bear in the eye.]

That's the great thing, you can be whatever you want! So if you always wanted to know what it was like to be a fearsome wielder of mysterious elemental mojo you can be a badass Siren warrior princess. Or if you feel like going full metal zenjacket you can be a droid or maybe just a guy in a mechsuit with social issues who's a badass ninja samurai hybrid!

[She's talking quickly but with a lot of excitement. This is clearly something she's passionate about.]

Plus lots more. I can help you think of a kickass class. What kind of stuff do you like? I can tailor make one to you.

[icebearforpresident]

Chocolate Hazelnut and Ricotta. Don't worry, Ice Bear can make many crumpets. [He gives Tina a thumbs up.]

Ice Bear likes cooking, axes, knitting, robot building. What class can Tina make from that?

[chocolatechipbadass]

That is the fanciest thing I've ever heard of in my life.

[Ice Bear has shocked the young girl into silence for nearly half a minute. He should be proud.]

Uhm obviously you're a Mechromancer who builds kickass robots to assist in running your world class restaurant, managing your yarnbombing store, and personal security. It has a rotating axe that it uses to keep the place secure and is resistant to rust from the inevitable spurting of arterial blood that results in axing off limbs.