six_word_stories | (no subject)

[SHRILL DOG YELP]

HEY! STOP!

I was in this bin first! Go find your own!!

[ Rocket pulls out a container of very smelly Chinese food out from the bin. Not a dog. ]

This is my can, fido. Now go find a butt to stuff your nose into.

You can't even eat it all! There's a week's worth of stuff and it isn't even pick-up day yet!

You never saw me eat. And my pal's here ain't to happy you're nosin' around.

[ A bunch of brown rats poke their heads up from their rotten fish feast. ]

And those dumb humans are gonna be in for a surprise if they take our goods.

THATISSOMANYRATS!!

[There's a frantic scrabbling of dog claws as Manjimutt clambers out of the trash bin. This ends with a graceless flat landing and another YIP. But he's back on his four feet fast.]

What the hell! What the HELL! Why are there so many rats?!

This is a cave under a quarter mile of solid rock. Where did you come from?

[ Rocket pockets his head up from the trash bin, a slice of moldy pizza is clutched firmly in his paws. His fur on his back bristles, and he holds the slice of pizza with death grip. Ain't no body gonna take his food. ]

The rats that run this place told me how to get in. [ He nods his head to a big brown rat that is munching on some mystery meat. ]

Shit, we have rats, too. God, time to get some traps. And maybe a few large cats. I can't stand...

[And then it clicks.]

Oh, you're intelligent? Well, come inside. We can find you something better than pizza that was already a week old when Kate threw it out...

(Ooc: and that's my lunch over. I'll tag back after work)

Edited 2017-10-07 21:01 (UTC)

You calling me stupid, and threatening my pal there?

[ Intelligent and short tempered are a good way to describe this raccoon from space. ]

And, I ain't takin' food from someone who wants to kill my buddies. 'Sides this stuff smells like heaven. Damn pink apes don't know what they're missin.

(ooc: Go and be productive you weekend warrior, you!)

It's covered in mold! It's a fifty-fifty chance that it'll kill any bacteria in your system, or cause serious gastric upset and possible hallucinations...

(ooc: lol, I'm not sure "warrior" is the word for a customer service associate at Walmart. maybe "chick who gets screamed at for other people's mistakes" is more accurate...)

I know what mold is, and it is delicious! And as you can see, I'm not a human.

[ Rocket goes to take a big bite out of the pizza that would make a sensitive person's stomach crawl. ]

My stomach bacteria will handle this just fine, and my friends there will take care of what I don't eat. [ He's looking for more than just food. He wants electronics that he can take apart to reverse engineer into weapons, and parts for the Milano. ]

Yes, I can see you're not a human. You've the least adorable raccoon I've ever seen. I just... wouldn't want you to get sick.

I've never heard of a talking raccoon before. Are there many like you down here?

Like I'd tell you if there were more talkin' whatever you're callin' us down here.

Raccoon is the English language term. Other cultures have other names. And I only ask because we'd be happy to leave extra food out...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I get other planets got names for those things. But I ain't one of those raccoons.

[ He takes another bite out of the rotten slice of pizza. ]

[Will winces at the fact that the... ~~raccoon~~ person is still eating the moldy pizza, but doesn't comment.]

Sorry, the morphological similarities threw me off. Clearly you're nothing like a standard-- wait, did you say planets?

What the hell, man?

You're tossing some great bombing making materials in the trash, Quill. And I ain't about to let any of it get tossed out into space.

[ Never mind he found something that smells like it was stuck in the fridge for months, and was happily eating it. ]

Eeyyuuch! Yeah, a stink bomb! You know some of that gross stuff was starting to move on it's own, right? I think it grew a freakin' eyeball!

Com'on you know a stink bomb with a massive blast radius would be the best weapon.

[ Rocket looks down at the pile of trash that he's standing on, he shifts his weight around and he goes to move things around with glee. ]

I need that eye! I mean I really need that eye. And you could have told me sooner, because I really need an extra eye.

[An amiable shrug. Actually yeah, that was a good point. But--]

What? No--you don't need an eyeball, dude, nobody needs an extra eyeball on this ship! Especially not the mutant creature that's probably formed out of our trash!

Yeah, I do need an eyeball! And how'd you know that? Drax looks like he can use an extra eyeball.

[ Rocket ducks back into the trash. And he starts digging with trash flying in different directions. ]

And maybe I want the creature that this eye is attached to. I mean we could unleash it on some unsuspecting mook.

Drax does not need an extra eyeball. You do not need an extra eyeball. There is no possible reason anybody here needs an extra eyeball, none of you are missing an eyeball, therefore none of you need an eyeball!

[Peter runs a hand through his hair out of sheer incredulity, trying to avoid getting hit in the face with something that was probably glowing and poisonous.]

Or it could be like a tribble and this whole ship is gonna be overrun by multiplying critters. It's like you've never seen an episode of Star Trek.

[ ...Well here's something suspicious. The giant centaur-bot stomps over to investigate. ]

I recommend you step away from the sanitation receptacle.

And if I don't step away from this fine sanitation receptacle?

[ Rocket peers up at the large robot. ]

Cause I'm thinking of staying put.

I will remove you from it.

[ She is the protector of this city! Even against litterers. Which certainly happens when you've gone rummaging through the trash. ]

[ Small he maybe, but Rocket is going to stand his ground. ]

I'd like to see you try.

[ She points her big 'ol gun arm at the ground. Presumably where she'd like Rocket too be. ]

You have one final chance.

[ Rocket pulls out his own big handgun. ]

Mmmm. I'll get back to you on that one. Now if you don't mind, I got important stuff to do here!

I already separate my garbage, you realize.

[ Rocket is just going to stare with a murderous glint in his eyes. ]

You jerk. If you weren't on our team I'd murderize you.

For obeying the law?

[Arms folded, Disappointed Father face activated.]

What were you looking for anyway? You know I'd happily invite you in if you needed food or a place to stay, Rocket.

It all goes to the same place, so why's it matter if you got to separates i... aw forget it.

[ Rocket looks back at his pile, and he starts digging again. ]

Bomb making materials. And there's plenty of that there. [ Nevermind that he's got spaghetti noodles stuck to his fur. ]

In. In my trash can?

[How is that possible? Steve doesn't know enough about current or space technology to refute that statement of Rocket's and he's visibly worried now.]

Here, should I turn it out? I don't want potential explosives in the garbage.

[Hucks an empty bottle out the window at said trash robber.]

Shut the hell up, you mangy garbage rat. Some people are trying to be miserable in peace.

[ The flying bottle doesn't deter Rocket from digging through the apartment dumpsters. ]

How 'bout you shut up! And next time if you're gonna toss bottles make sure you hit what you're aimin' for the next time!

[The next bottle was aimed more precisely.]

Don't make me come down there. I have a hangover from hell and I'd love a new fur hat.

[ The rats who were hanging out with him scatter when the bottle hits too close to comfort. Rocket snorts. ]

Armatures. [ He grabs hold of a discarded container. ] Mmm. Spicy. And that ain't exactly original, toots

[Stupid ungrateful trash panda. Now she was just ticked off, stepping out onto the fire escape, then jumping down off it to land beside him. Look, Rocket, no boosters.]

You want original? How about I mount your head and use it to open my beer?

[ Rocket watches Jessica jump, and he is never going to admit that he's impressed, nope, not ever in his short and miserable lifespan. ]

Nope. I've heard it before. Gotta keep trying, sugar tits.

I'll go find another gutter rat a few blocks down and shove my foot up each of your asses for a pair of raccoon slippers. Sound good?