six_word_stories | (no subject)

Wait.

[Bandit? All up in HER workshop and the surrounding area? Tea parties are going to have to be put on hold. How the hell did he not blow himself up on the mines Tina has surrounding her place?]

Fluffybutt, you stay here and guard the shop. Prissypants is going to greet our guests in the manner to which bandits understand best.

[The stuffed animals are filled with explosives, Scott. THE STUFFED ANIMALS ARE FILLED WITH EXPLOSIVES AND YOU'RE SITTING IN A PILE OF THEM. She just shot a doll filled with grenades into a bandit and his bits are flying everywhere. That could be you.]

[ Scott isn't sure what's worse being confined next to a bunch of explosives or having Tina discover him whine he's tiny. Somehow he doesn't really like his options, but so long as those bombs don't go boom, he's good. ]

Will do! Go get him Prissypants! Just make sure he doesn't bring any friends this time!

[ He cringes from within his helmet when he sees bits of bandit fly in all different directions. How he ended up on Pandora is a mystery, maybe some crazy Vault Hunter did it. ]

Just, just, make sure I get to stay nice and safe here on the shelf. Those bandits especially the Juggernauts scare the living bejesus out of me.

AHAHAHAHAHA--!

That's what you get, Bandits! You come into my house an' try to mess stuff up? This is what you get for being jerks!

[The threshold for being a jerk on Pandora isn't actually that high but it takes a lot to piss Tina off unless it's oatmeal raisin cookies.

When the ground stops shaking and gore stops raining Tina pulls the shutters of her shop closed and takes a seat on one of her workbenches.]

Don't you worry none, I'll get a 'no solicitors' put up by the end of the week. That should keep you all a bit safer even when I'm out with the Vault Hunters.

Juggernauts! Never invite those idiots to a party, because girl, they throw all the things around.

[ Scott gulps when he hears the shutters close. He really needs to get out and find whatever it is that brought him here to those crazy place. And the Maliwan automatic rifle that the bandit dropped looks way tempting to lure him out from his hiding place. ]

But, but, but, what if I want to get out and stretch my legs. There's plenty of bandits around for me to kick the butts of.